


Handsome Prince

by fights



Category: Batman - Fandom
Genre: Adventure, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-01-14
Updated: 2011-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-14 18:16:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fights/pseuds/fights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>Title</b>: Handsome Prince 1/2<br/><b>Author</b>: <b>ol_fighty</b> (fights)<br/><b>Prompt</b>: Role reversal<br/><b>Word count</b>: 4509 without lyrics<br/><b>Disclaimer</b>: I do not own DC Earth-3 world or any properties by DC. I do not own Batman nor sell him, his likeliness or profit financially from Batman merchandise.<br/><b>Rating</b>: PG-15<br/><b>Warnings</b>: Violence! Some unintended crack. SWEARING<br/><b>Summary</b>: Babysitting someone so similar to the Joker wasn't easy. Especially when Owlman, after throwing him through a phase oscillator instead of a Owl Portal, wants him back. Owlman/Batman, Joker/Batman, Owlman/Joker, Batman/Jokester, Owlman/Jokester, Owlman EVERYONE.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Handsome Prince

**Author's Note:**

> **Title** : Handsome Prince 1/2  
>  **Author** : **ol_fighty** (fights)  
>  **Prompt** : Role reversal  
>  **Word count** : 4509 without lyrics  
>  **Disclaimer** : I do not own DC Earth-3 world or any properties by DC. I do not own Batman nor sell him, his likeliness or profit financially from Batman merchandise.  
>  **Rating** : PG-15  
>  **Warnings** : Violence! Some unintended crack. SWEARING  
>  **Summary** : Babysitting someone so similar to the Joker wasn't easy. Especially when Owlman, after throwing him through a phase oscillator instead of a Owl Portal, wants him back. Owlman/Batman, Joker/Batman, Owlman/Joker, Batman/Jokester, Owlman/Jokester, Owlman EVERYONE.

_Day 0_

_  
_

* * *

The wall of fire cackled at the firemen and policemen trying to tame it. It stood tall frightening the Gotham police, running up broken, lopsided poles, falling down from melting hanging lights. The inferno's long arms hugged the hijacked carnival, preventing any normal intruders. A living fence to warn the police to keep away, along with many dead corpses holding " **keep away** " signs. A _tinderlog-wall_ made of floats and fun-houses had been connected quickly, haphazardly and dangerously lit into flames. A demonic fire summoned by a inhumane mind.

Brooding over the metal jungle was a lit Ferris wheel still spun weakly, emptied doors hanging open, clanging from an unusual summer wind. A hundred lights snuffed, only a few sun yellow and teal blue bulbs remained. Glowing in the night light. The green roller coaster train pile up resembled a cluster of baby caterpillars. There was over burnt smell of marshmallows and cotton candy became twisted with the smell of an old auto garage and aging car tire.

Batman paused, easing into the narrow space that would allow him to inch closer to the concession stand. The Gotham Knight rose his flashlight at the food station's glass.

The smoke pulsed and faded like a thick fog. The box empty, cotton still swirling without a staff person to vend food. A vrum and twist of metal. Freshly abandoned. Someone must have liked their carnival confections enough to scare the cotton candy salesperson last. Most of the pink and blue puffy sweets had been pillaged, as if someone had reached into the white aluminum food shelter's gut and pulled out the sugary entrails—like strings of honey—from the burglarized shop windows. Batman followed the trail of candy expecting a fat-gutted imp, with fawn tails and antelope ears but found the swaying, romantic tune of Billie Holiday blaring out of the speakers of a still functioning teacup ride.

" _It's alllllwaaayss that waaaay, when a woman loves a man._ "[ **1** ] Batman eyes flicked up to the tower that commanded the soundwaves. The teenager slumped over outside the broken glass window, brain speckling the lobe and confetti chunks over the blue-white striped side canopy. Batman's grimaced, " _she'll be the first one to praise him when he's going strong. The last one to blame him when every-things wrong._ "

His hand lowered the beam of light following the trail of food, grenade clips, crudely chopped crysthanamums, the decapitated heads of purple tulips and long stemmed, black roses. The path a deliberate set up, simple, with complicated, jumbled emotions. " _It's such a one sided game that they play, but women all find it that way._ "

Something wavering between infatuation and adoration.

The Joker's karaoke was off, like he stumbled to catch up with the sentence. An odd, stuttering staccato.

" _Telllll her she's a fooool,_ " crooned the nasal voice of the Joker, " _she'll say yes I know-BUT-I-lo~ve-him sooo—_ " Arms splashing inside the cup.

The teacup ride was lit to the nines, at the centre of the carnival, wrapped in roller coasters, tall Ferris wheels and wedged between food stands, it stood a squashed, awkward ride. A series of English style teacups with mini steps to climb into the beverage holder, where each on a rotating circle. There were six cups, filled with an assortment of flowers, guns, knives and oversized plush toys pillaged from the mini-game stands.

" _And that's how it goes, when a woman loves a man._ " In the seventh cup, a purple on white cup, the top half of the over indulged clown could be seen popping over the edge of the cup. The Joker's vest was undone, stomach bulging from over gorging on festival food in a bubbling Jacuzzi of pink champagne. Arms swung over the edges of the cup, sitting on his back as the tea cup rolled around and around and around inside it's spinning circle. The alcohol sloshed with each spin and the Joker merely funnelled more down his throat, down his neck, chest and into the tea cup. His smile widened as he notices his guest garbed in black, as sombre as a little boy attending the funeral of his parents.

He pulled the green bottle from his lips, which popped from the suction, lolling his head and shaking the bubbly out of his long green locks. He smiled with yellowing teeth. " _Tell her she's a fool, she'll say yes I know—_ "

A gloved hand pressed to long fingers to his lips and blew a kiss with a sly wink at his stoic bat, _"but I love him sooo—_ "

The cup quickly whirled out of reach, Batman leaped onto the silver platform that clank underfoot. The Joker stood, waves of liquor spilling from the cups lips. " _And that's how it goes, when a woman loves a man._ "

The ride slowed to a stop, which allowed Batman to gain more distance and nearly close the gap when a man fell from the sky and fell into his arms.

In a more descriptive paragraph, it was if the mesmerizing colours of the aurora borealis opened up in the sky and a beam of light, glass and tiny bits of debris rained down causing the Joker to scramble from his seat in his teacup bath. From the rainbow heaven, a man descended like an angel descending from heaven. His face was painted white, lipstick uniformly applied to the edges of his lips. Purple hair slicked back, even in his panic, a flutter of mischief played on his face when he gravitated towards the black suited Batman. Mostly on pure will and desperation to cling to something human.

Batman grabbed the man out of instinct, an act that rewarded him sharp, jagged jabs in his general direction with the Joker's paltry kitchen knife. The clown seemed to more be absorbed in the fact that this **_thing from space_** , as the green haired criminal shrieked, **_was touching his batsy_**.

"It seems as if the phase... oce-" The scars rippled with each oh sound, "oce-ocelot-ocelator. Oscillator[ **2** ] is working! AND I DIDN'T DIE!"

"Thank you," Batman stared dumbly for the stranger from beyond who thanked him and was a near mirror of his cruel nemesis was so polite and well groomed.

The alien surveyed the scene before shouting with a raised hand, "I come in peace!"

"Well you're leaving in pieces," the Joker motioned with his knife.

"Me?" Although the new Joker asking and answering a different question, he seemed more preoccupied with his own situation, not his impeding demise. "I must have been sent to another dimension!"

"Wait, if that's me...?" The new Joker took a sharp turn and took a step back, cocking his head. He took a step forward, and looked again. Almost not believing that he stepped into Batman's personal bubble earning a fierce choking grab around his neck that relented when the innocent man asked cutely with wide, inquiring eyes. "Owly?"

"Owly..." The Joker pondered, scratching his chin with his blade. "Owly, owly, OWOLY~" he played with the name with his raspy voice, "—owwwwwieee..."

"Owlman," the impostor corrected his own pet-name by providing the true name.

Joker nodded and made another severe stab in the direction of his favourite vigilante, "that's Batman."

"MY Batman," the Joker double-corrected his double, with a stare that radiated _get the fuck off my man, ho!_.

"Batman..." The clown in the green suit looked Batman up and down, "you're sooo... Even Owl has more colour."

Batman took a more defensive stance, even if this Joker was harmless, there was still another Joker writhing and stewing in his other self's hatred and would not stand being ignored for long.

"Hur-ur-urts my heart righ-hi-ht here, Batty-boy." The Joker thumped his hand on his heart. His hand pulled away from his angrily beating heart, eyes squinted slits that were obscured by black make-up and darkness. He jabbed his blade, stabbing at all the work he had done. "The wound-up roller coasters, the suicide lovers Ferris Wheel, the bumped too much bumper cars..." The Joker lisped with a hot and loving rasp, "allllll fooooorrr yooooou!"

The new Joker watched the exchange.

"Got some champagne pourrredted, waited all night, right boys?" There was a chorus and grunts from the gang of evil clowns. The Joker continued on, taking another pride filled look at the destruction, "All night for my sweetie to show up,"

The Joker stood there waiting for a reaction from Batman, sopping from champagne. Batman watched back silently, then turned his attention to the closing portal and the new clown who also watched the portal from the sky close. Where ever he came from, if he wanted to live he would have to get back as soon as possible. Rachel, Harvey, countless others had died just being close or associated to Batman. This guy was asking for it just impersonating him, even if he was from another dimension. His eyes had fallen on the new clown, and Joker watched as his Bat's attention was stolen away from a harlot that was stealing his style.

"Owly! Is that his pet name for you!" The Joker screeched through the knife at Batman, who deflected it as if it were a pitiful fly. Thwarted, the Joker's hand slithered into another nearby pink teacup, encircled around a green grenade and threw it at his purple haired impostor, "shoulda known when you didn't return my calls-tcsh."

"Nergh!" The new Joker barely dodged, was barely swept away in the protective arms of Batman and into the darkness.

" **AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH!** " The screech rattled the night, Batman was SAVING HIM! " **I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BATS!** "

The Joker stared at the space where Batman had stood and then into the mixed night and darkness where Batman had escaped. Feeling spiteful he shot the general area that Batman had been standing in (or could have been standing in) with a machine gun. The bullets ripped through the metal, into the the grass and other rides causing the explosives inside to go off. The Joker smiled at no one because Batman was gone. "Because I love you so much."

* * *

_Day 1_

_  
_

* * *

"That guys is crazier than my tweets." Batman moved his hand so that the clown could hold the cotton to his arm, the smell was a sharp mix out alcohol and vinegar. The coppery smell of smoke and coppery blood had dissipated from the suit and his cologne began to seep out with the smell of perspiration. The clown sniffed the smell and gave the black night a quizzical look.

"Hrmph," Batman taped the bandage onto the stranger's arm.

His eyes watched the computer screens, watching the world with fascination. Whenever he saw the screen change his eyes would light up like a child, when Commissioner Gordon appeared onscreen his face seemed a bit puzzled. His fingers would ghost over the devices, never touching them so Bruce never spoke up berating the clown for doing so. He would look up at Batman with a 'I know you're watching me' expression, that would change to a smile and then he would continue to explore the microcosm of the new "bat cave."

"He looked like me," the stranger said, breaking the computer buzzing. "A fat, badly dressed me. Oh look, the police are doing police-cey work! Hum dum! That looks hot! Firemeeeennnnnn—" He looked over to Batman to see the reaction, there was none. He was nonplussed and unfettered.

"So what are we doing now Brucey," the clown finally asked, "I don't have the phase oscillator to get back to my world."

"Excuse me." Batman pressed his tools of the table and got up to wash his hands furiously, trying to absorb what just occurred.

"Oh no, excuse me! I thought if my Brucie was Owlman, that your Brucie was... Man in black armour with really pointy ears. It's a natural conclusion to draw, which means now you could really be anyone. A barber, a dentist—"

Batman began to unclasp his suit, there was no point in the disguise if this person knew his identity. It was hot and he had just been running around a carnival surrounded by fire.

"This is going to be more complicated than I thought." Bruce muttered aloud, pulling off his arm and unclasping his leg armour as it would make taking his chest plate off easier.

"An actor, oooh an actor!" The other clown wandered in. Great another clown. Hopefully this one wasn't as murderous maniac and maybe actually funny, but Bruce pondered if his image of clowns could be repaired so easily. The clown grasped the white porcelain, feeling it's design and artistry. "Wow, this is really nice. I've never seen a sink as nice as this!"

Bruce wandered out of the small washroom as his guest flushed the toilet, dragging his arm plate, legs buckling off his body with each step. He removed his chest-plate, setting the arms, legs and chest into the case one after the other. Lastly he pulled off his "mask" last, giving his head a shake. The sweat rolled off his face, he searched for the collection of towels Bruce had kept nearby for sweaty, summer days and dabbed his skin dry.

The clown had fallen awfully silent, pulling on the edges of a hand towel nervously.

"What?" Bruce asked, a bit angrily.

"You." The clown seemed a bit breathless. Bruce continued to dab his face dry.

"Me?" Bruce tossed the towel into the laundry basket.

"You're real nice."

"Hrmph." Bruce gave his guest as good hard to look. "What are you thinking about? What's your name by the way?"

"I'm the..." The clown seemed mesmerized, Bruce shook his head and removing his black shirt. Scars rippling on the muscles.

"I'm the Jokester." The Joker impersonator finally snapped, eyes tearing from Bruce's back. "You can.. Call me Jackie... If you like."

"Where I can put you." Bruce pulled open a wall and began searching though for shirts. He saw a shirt, long and white and pulled it out before tossing it to his guest. "The other guy who looks like you is a wanted criminal..."

"You're really pretty!" Jackie stuttered, biting his lips. The Jokester looked down at the shirt in his hands, tugging at the shirt as if he were some teenager with a crush. [ **3** ] His head shot up and scrambled for a cover-up, "Owlman is more... Burly, and he has curls of hair all over his chest, happy trail all the way down to his groin and I'm pretty sure that he eats glass and cigarettes to talk the way he talks. He doesn't have to force it the way you do." [ **4** ]

Bruce finally found a shirt for himself and pulled into on, which the Jokester found made him less distracting.

The way that Jackie was looking at him and kept stealing glances seemed a bit odd. He had been avoiding his name or calling him Owlman all together, which made Bruce wonder what the Phase Oscillator was and why this near double of his nemesis had fallen into his care. Until another aurora borealis appeared, he'd have to keep Jackie close or nearby and avoid letting him contact anyone who may confuse him as the Joker.

It would be hard. He'd have to hide him in his penthouse until further notice. How Joke...ster would return to his world... He would have to figure out later.

"You do kind of do look like Bruce Wayne."

"That's because I'm this world's Bruce Wayne—"

"You're kinda dreamy." Jackie sputtered accidentally.

"Why," Bruce raised an eyebrow, "thank you. I think." Bruce pulled off his pants quickly. "What's he like? Bruce Wayne... Owlman."

"Mean and ogre-rish," Jokester replied turning away, covering his eyes.

"So... What do you eat?" The clown from another dimension began to bounce away suddenly, trolling around Bruce's make-shift Batcave as if he were at home on mars. Bruce whipped his slacks straight and put a leg into his pants.

"Well, from my dimension..." The Jokester paused for five seconds before continuing, "I can't eat anything but steak and chocolate."

Bruce did his pants up and tightened his belt.

"It was just a joke, Brucey."

Bruce looked up at the Jokester. The dye job was impeccable.

"What are you thinking about," the Jokester pressed a hand against his purple locks. "My hair? I know it's beautiful but really you're staring to hard..."

"I was thinking about how nicely it would dye brown." Bruce stepped forward, cornering the clown with his physique. The Jokester scrambled for a weapon and then stopped realizing Bruce was closing in and Owlman had stripped him of all his toys before throwing him into the whole new world. "I've got enough stage make-up for those scars," "and I could probably order more."

"What am I, Eliza Doolittle?[ **5** ] Unhand me! You're as bad as he is with your head full of whirly plots! I bet you have more plots in your head than I do! No! Nooooo! Don't!"

_One Hour Later_

"My hair..." It was brown now, the new dye job was just as impeccable as the last. His scars were filled in with a weird plastic liquid, but AFTER his face had been scrubbed clean. Bruce had stripped his clothes and thrown them into the laundry as well forcing him to wear that baggy, white dress shirt and a over-sized pair of slack. "My scars... I never liked them, but still..."

"Shh. You need clothes now." Bruce wiped the remainder of the white paint off his own face.

"Are we going shopping?" The Jokester chirped, mood-swinging back up.

"Maybe later, when I get back from work."

The Jokester pouted childishly. The pout that didn't last after seeing the Mercedes Benz, soon he was sitting in the passenger seat, playing with the dials of the radio, being greatly amused by the news on the radio, the ads and billboards.

"Alfred, I'm bringing a man from an alternate dimension. He needs to stay with us, ply him with as much chocolate and cake as you can to keep him in one place—"

"I'm right here," the Jokester looked up from the radio with an annoyed look.

"I need to go to work," Bruce replied covering the cell phone.

"But how do you know that I'm not dangerous," The Jokester snorted, and changed from AM to FM. "I could be just as dangerous as that other clown guy."

"Because the Joker from my world would have stabbed me five times already." Bruce pulled the Jokester's hand from his face before his nails scrapped his scars open. "No picking, don't talk to any policemen, just eat cake until I come back."

"This shirt is extra billowy," Jackie replied, pulling on the sides as if they were a pair of wings.

"That's nice." The car rolled to a stop and Bruce got out to walk around to the other side of the car to open the passenger door.

The Jokester didn't budge.

"I don't want to go."

Bruce carried Jackie into the elevator.

Bruce ended up not going to the meeting, but he did get to eat a lot of cake.

* * *

_Day 3_

_  
_

* * *

Alfred had grown fond of Jackie's antics, what surprised the Billionaire more was the fact that his old butler taking a liking to him. Not that Bruce minded, he could steal some cookies and condensed milk (which surprisingly the Jokester didn't have as much affection for) while the pair were conversing before tip-toeing to his 'night shift.' Perhaps Alfred was lonely, even though Lucius made his rounds and there were friends down at the pub, perhaps Jackie was genuinely charming. [ **6** ]

Bruce was forced to be biased. With a grin as wide as a cheshire cat's, the only men in this world like that were homicidal maniacs that dressed up like clowns and went on killing sprees trying to make more 'smiling people.'

That night Bruce walked into a soft, masculine voice of a man.

"I _never knew that you and I were finished—_ " The voice continued, " _—until that bottle hit my head._ "

" _Though I tried to be aloof when you pushed me off the roof,_ " Bruce pressed his hand against the white door. Alfred sang operatic pieces, bossa nova style. Deep and masculine songs. Not feminine songs like Say that We're Sweethearts again, with sincerity and a playful intent. " _I feel our romance is dead._ "

" _It wouldn't have been so bad, if you had told me—_ " Jackie continued, watching the door push open to reveal a stunned Bruce. " _That someone had taken my place!_ "

" _Oh no, you didn't even scold me,_ " confused, Bruce eyes met Jackie's eyes. The older man stepped into his role of entertainer, making gestures re-inacting his face scarification.[ **7** ] " _You just tried to disfigure my face._ "

"Do you have to sing so loud?" The more mature man of the pair demonstrated with a claps of the golden handle and a twist, repeating several times without ever actually closing the door. "And lock the door, or at least close it."

Jokester rolled his eyes, grabbing the bubble solution and pouring the mix into while whirling the pink liquid

"C'mon you know the words," Jackie lifted his leg up and scrubbed it with a loofa, " _you'll never know how this heart of mine is breaking—_ "

" _—It seems to hopeless—_ " Bruce added, playing along like a boy being dragged into playing house.

" _But then!_ " Jokester snapped back gleefully as Bruce played into his gag, even making as a dramatic a pose to falling to one knee. Teeth shiny white and eyes livid with life. The billionaire Bat stretched his arms out as is waiting for Jackie to fall into his embrace the same way he fell from the sky on the bathroom tile like a loser in love.

" _Life used to be so placid,_ " the pair sang together, two men singing a women's role in a high-pitched tune, " _so please put down that acid._ "

" ** _And SAY THAT WE'RE SWEETHEARTS AGAIIINNNN!_** "

"Now get out of the tub before you get wrinkly..." Bruce chided, pulling a towel from a nearby stand and placing closer to his Jokeresque guest. "Old man."

"Pooh!" Jackie responded blowing a handful of bubbles at Bruce.

_Day 5_

"This is wonderful," Jackie leaned over the plate of mashed potatoes so low that Bruce wanted to shove his face into the cooked tuber, just so he could see how stupid his smile looked. It was moments like this that Bruce sympathized for Owlman.

"Thank you, Jackie." Alfred responded very British, sitting no to far from his guest.

"You're wonderful, Alfred." Now Bruce wanted to punch him in the face for flirting with his old butler. Yesterday he was dancing with the maid and before lunch he was doing Tai Chi with the man next door.

"Will you marry me Alfred?" Jackie asked, eyes sparkling with sincerely.

Alfred smiled, pouring a glass of wine. "I'm afraid I'm spoken for."

Jackie turned to Bruce, "Will you marry me, Brucie?"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "If you eat your peas tonight then maybe we'll talk."

"Wait!" Jokester clattered, hand hitting the table, "sorry Alfred—I'd like to say grace," he began after getting two nods which he took as a go ahead, "thank you, Owlman."

"Thank you for throwing me into a portal after I found your three way video with Ultraman and Superwoman. When you said," the Jokster's intonation deepened into a husk. " **I'm going to send you to heaven—** " His voice perked back up with a smile, "you did! So thank you. I live in a fancy penthouse with a kind butler and a sexy stud muffin man who doesn't look at all like you because you look grumpy and you're hairy and it's gross and I hate you."

Bruce folded his hands in prayer, a gesture he rarely done after the death of his parents.

"I'd like to say grace too," Bruce cleared his throat. "ahem, God, thank you for using your blessings to create food so that CERTAIN people cannot talk while they eat."

"I can talk when I eat."

"Please don't."

* * *

_Day 7_

_  
_

* * *

"The clown that they brought back must have been from that dimension, n-not ours."

The floor was littered with his men, rend limb from limb. A smile carved onto their faces and necks. The clown was a mess, he looked like shit. At least Jokester combed and gelled his hair back. This guy's hair dye was fading out, his make-up job was an after thought. Sure his clothes were custom made, but if he didn't give a shit about keeping his clothes clean than what was the point of a tailored suit? The fact that his men had been stupid enough to bring back the wrong clown when provided a picture just showed they didn't belong in the gene pool. Especially when the new clown was killing them with their own weapons! And with all this murder the Jokester was still missing and been gone seven days. "What the hell did they bring back? IT?"[8]

"I told you the Phas—" The scientist twitched nervously, even when he raised his hands to protect himself, Owlman still cut through his throat and hands with his rusty blade. A blade that just kept getting rusty from blood due to him having to slice a lot of folks to get that clown back. The body was still alive, so Owlman stomped on the scientist's face until it looked like hamburger mash on the once white tile.

"Let that be a lesson to the rest of you," Owlman turned to his surviving staff, the team devoted to space and dimension travel had been ground down from sixty to a paltry eight. And all those men and women had been hard to grind, but with Ultraman's help, it made a menial task more fun. "Don't give teleportation devices stupid names. It's the goddamn Alternate Dimension Device. So when I say, hand me the mother-fucking Owl Portal do not give me THE FUCKING PHASE OSCILLATOR!" [9]

"Fucking clowns," Owlman stomped down the metal steps and opened shoved aside the guard. The door slammed open and the Joker stopped fiddling with the cloth on the knee of his pants. "Jokester."

"DON'T FUCKING CALL ME JOKESTER!" A grenade flew over Owlman's shoulder and behind the closing door, exploding the rest of the scientists. "It's rude, my name is the Joker. THE Jok-KER. Jokester if I'm wrong, so do correct me is that other guy that's Batman's new snuggle-bunny. Which makes you Owlman."

"Batman... How do you know my name?" Owlman git his teeth. He didn't need Jokester running around, yelling at the top of his lungs like chicken little and warning other dimensions the sky was falling and that it was Owlman's fault. Yet. Maybe he could get Jokester to do that, make it his new job. Owlman took a step, which landed his foot on some squishy brains. "Where is he?"

"HEEHEEHEEHEE!" The Joker laughed, but it wasn't the same as the Jokester's."You must be looking for your darling, darling."

"He's not my darling!" Owlman grabbed the clown and threw him against the wall. "Don't call me darling! I'm the FUCKING OWLMAN! YOU GOT THAT CLOWN!"

"In caps lock," the Joker giggled girlishly accompanied heaving sound that wasn't quite right. "Oh ho ho, a rough one."

"You look like my fucking clown," Owlman observed.

"My fucking clown, he's a slim thing. You really use him for fucki—" The Owlman threw Joker across the room but the clown just bounced of the walls, laughing. "Heeheeheehoohaaa! You're so sensitive. You know I killed a lot of your white knights, musta sent about a hundred guys looking for your fucking clown."

The other clown looked up from being drenched in blood and guts, he pushed some organs out of the way so he could prop his body up using the floor. "You know my Batman hasn't been paying attention to me, ever since he got that clown in his sights. You get my drift."

"I like you," Owlman said, watching as the Joker undid a single button of his bloody shirt. A growl rose out his throat, as he stalked into the Joker's direction. "I think I'll kill you last."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> [ **TBC** ]
> 
> * * *
> 
> Notes:  
> HEY JOKER OWLMAN! GET OUTTA DAT BLOOD! YOU'RE GONNA GET HEPATITIS!
> 
> I gave in and wrote a Earth-3 fic. Sorry, I tried to do some research on this an cull more Earth-3 knowledge... I don't know if I under did some characters or overdid other characters. Or understand the comics universe much. Jokester is really cheeky, but broken and afraid to care for people. RAR, you guys only get one. He's not really the Jokester right now, he's more of the bumbling Jackie that Three-Face fell in love with. Also, I was debating weither or not the Jokester may be older DK Batman. I dunno, so I just went ahead and made him the elder.
> 
>  _Footnotes:_  
>  [ **1** ]Billie Holiday's When a Woman loves a man was the most appropriate for that scene I felt. There's the Joker, bathing in a teacup filled with champagne singing about his dear Batman.  
> [ **2** ] This is from the Brave and the Bold, it's what the device was called. I was actually going to have Batman/Red Hood. I kinda like dat outfit, it's something hawt.  
> [ **3** ] Wahhhhhh! I'd like to pin point exactly when Jokester starts crushing on Bruce. Hence why this Fanfic is called "Handsome Prince."  
> [ **4** ] I imagine Owlman to be very burly, masculine and hairy... Like Wolverine.  
>  **[5** ] A reference to "My Fair Lady."  
> [ **6** ] I imagine Jokester to as charming as the Joker... When allowed to contact humans (before they meet an unfortunate fate by knowing him, ouch).  
> [ **7** ] Just for the line about face disfigurement, I had to make Jokester sing about it. Here's to you, Harley!  
>  **[8** ] A reference to a certain movie with a killer clown.  
> [ **9** ] A reference to Millar's Batman. I don't know if Owlman has a teleporter, I imagine he intended to send Jokester to his cave... Make of that what you will. He has a dimensional teleporter, so he HAS to have a REGULAR teleporter.


End file.
